Awesome relationships don’t just happen naturally. It takes conscious effort and commitment to ensure that they succeed. So if you’ve found yourself a keeper — whether you’ve put a ring on it or not — here are 5 things every great relationship has that yours will need to succeed.
Sex
It’s often said that you know something is wrong in a relationship when the sex stops. Sex is how couples connect, not only physically but also emotionally. If there’s no sex, it usually means that things aren’t all hunky dory. The reverse of this is true — if the sex is great, it’s (usually) a good indicator that the relationship is flourishing. So don’t ever rest on your laurels sexually. Bring your A-game consistently to help keep her wanting it, and thus wanting you, which is a win-win for the both of you.
Romance
Do you show your woman that you appreciate her in more ways than putting the toilet seat down? When’s the last time you gave her a massage without doing it because you hoped it would lead to sex? Or took her out on an actual date? Or surprised her with a thoughtful gift, like that book she’s been harping on about wanting to read for months? If you can’t honestly remember, it’s time to pick up your act! The little things really do mean the most and it’s not hard to be romantic by being thoughtful and selfless without having an ulterior motive (like sex).
Trust
Much as Rome wasn’t built in a day, it takes time to earn and build trust for both partners to feel secure in the relationship. It’s important that you have trust in one another to do the right thing and respect the rules of your relationship. If she knows that she can trust you, she’ll feel secure. If she feels secure, she won’t freak out and call you every hour when you head out with the boys for a few beers. So how do you earn her trust? Demonstrate to her that you are trustworthy through your actions.
This means asking yourself one question whenever you’re faced by a tricky situation:
“What would (insert your woman’s name here) do if she knew I was (insert whatever it is you’re about to do here)?” So, for example, ‘What would Lisa do if she knew I was giving my number to that pretty little blonde waitress called Cindy that needs help fixing her car? If the answer is that Lisa would burn all of your hoodies before deciding to sleep with your best mate to get her revenge, maybe best not to do it. Simple, huh?
Honesty
This links heavily into the whole trust thing. I’m not talking about little white lies like ‘yeah I love that new haircut on you babe,’ I’m talking about the serious issues. Let’s say she asks you if you want kids – might be a pretty extreme example I know, but go with me here. You say yes. You really mean no. This sort of thing can be a deal-breaker. When she eventually finds out that you weren’t being honest and that both of you aren’t headed in the same direction, it won’t be long before she decides to find someone else who IS.
Spontaneity
Another night of lazing on the couch watching re-runs of Baywatch planned? Turn off that TV and book a table at her favourite restaurant. Plan a weekend away (even if it’s only as far away as a nice bed and breakfast down the road) and get her to pack a bag without telling her where you’re going. Keep the excitement alive in your relationship by thinking outside of the box every now and then and keeping her guessing. Don’t risk letting things become stale and routine.
Now ask yourself: does your relationship have these five things?
Photo by: The Shed Studios
