You broke up with your girlfriend, huh? And you’re going through all the miserable emotional crap that comes with it, from the lonely nights alone, the drunken nights out with the boys, to the drunken lonely nights alone, and the crying (shut up, because I know that you did). You’re trying really hard how to not be bitter toward everyone, but it’s hard because you’re still feeling the pain of the breakup. You REALLY want to forget your ex completely so that you can just move the hell on with your life. Well, my friend, I’m here to help.
Step 1: Face Facts – She’s gone
This step might take longer for some of you than others, depending on how serious the relationship was. Obviously, if you were living with your ex, you’ll have a harder time accepting the break-up than if you only dated seriously for a few months.
The sooner you accept the reality that she is not coming back, the sooner you can begin to move on with someone new. So ignore that little voice in your head, telling you that she’ll be back. I mean it. It won’t do you a damn bit of good.
Step 2: Learn from your mistakes
Once you understand step 1 and are actually ready to move on, you can start seeing your past relationship as a learning experience. Think about why you broke up and the reasons you were incompatible.
By doing this, you’ll make sure that you don’t repeat the things that led to your break-up, and you’ll be that much closer to discovering the things that really matter to you in a potential girlfriend.
Step 3: Cut off contact with your ex. Period.
Just like step 1, this one might be tougher for some of you. The longer you were together, the tougher it’ll be. Typically, exes can’t ever “just be friends.” There’s too much history there, and you’ll end up misinterpreting everything she says, thinking that you’ll get back together, and making yourself miserable. Stop it. It ain’t happening.
The faster you accept this, the better off you’ll be. So stop calling her, letting her call you, text you, email you, and so on.
This bears repeating: PLEASE do NOT try to be her “friend”. You were her BOYFRIEND, and that didn’t work out, right? Like I said, it’s OVER. You are NOT in a relationship with her, and she’ll eventually try to talk about her new guy, or you’ll be tempted to ask about them. And you really don’t want to listen to her talk about her new guy, right? Don’t be that guy.
And if you do want to hear it, Godspeed my friend.
Step 4: Throw stuff away.
You know what? Collect all the crap from when you were with your ex, like pictures, letters, clothes (unless it was really nice), and anything else that you got while you were with her, and throw it out. If you’re a packrat, and never throw anything away, put everything in a box and put it away. Eventually, you’ll forget about it.
Step 5: Don’t compare other women to your ex
Do not compare new women that you meet to your ex in any way, shape or form. Period. It’s not fair to them. They may do things that remind you of your ex, but she’s NOT your ex, got it?
To finish up
By following these steps, you’ll slowly start forgetting about your ex, but you’ll be able to enjoy a new lady love’s company that much more.
Good luck.
